Sexual Bravado and Sexual Politics Involved in Female Orgasm

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We all have vocal chords but that does not mean that everyone can sing or even wants to. Similarly they may all have a clitoris but not every woman masturbates.

Kinsey concluded that around 30% of women are ‘sexually unresponsive’. At the same time because he simply documented what women told him, his report made every woman an authority on orgasm. No one has questioned the biological, physiological and psychological mechanisms that might justify how these orgasms are achieved.

“If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain!” Kinsey found that only some women respond sexually but female orgasm has been redefined today in emotional terms to make it ‘achievable’ by more women.

These are ’emotional orgasms’ because they depend on a loving relationship. Sexual response is subconscious so a woman cannot make a conscious choice to orgasm with one man because she loves him and not with another because she doesn’t.

Some women are promiscuous simply as a form of experimentation. Women also gain financially or politically through sex. Women enjoy casual sex, not for orgasm but, for the thrill of the chase, the compliment, the novelty and sexual ego. A woman cannot use a man’s body for orgasm but she can play on his insecurities as a lover.

Anyone in the sex industry (including therapists) makes money out of a positive spin on women’s sexuality. But Kinsey noted that in many cases therapists are selling false hope to women who are naturally lacking in the erotic responses needed for orgasm.

One cannot present a fair picture of heterosexuality without acknowledging the advantage for women who respond as a lover by appearing to be sexually aroused or who appeal to male fantasies by talking about sex as if it is orgasmic for women.

But it is not objective research to assume that intercourse is orgasmic for women and then to try and invent ways of ‘proving’ how women respond to vaginal stimulation.

Men enjoy foreplay because it adds to their own arousal. Women don’t have the same incentive to stimulate a man because doing so does not cause their arousal in the same way. Hence why many women never volunteer any sexual pleasuring.

A man appreciates a lover who provides some response to love-making. A woman needs to anticipate and also to offer more explicit pleasuring. Men don’t always want to be in the position of having to ask. They want to imagine that a woman might enjoy pleasuring them. This is part of the fantasy to some degree.

When we talk about a person being sexual we often talk in terms of their ability to orgasm. But orgasm only lasts a few seconds. A woman’s sexuality revolves more around her ability to arouse a partner and engage in pleasuring a lover through sex.

The ideal female lover takes an active role in sex. She responds to suggestions for spending intimate time together and is willing to explore more adventurous sex play.

An unresponsive lover leads to male performance problems. A woman’s generosity depends on a man’s sensitivity to her needs and on the quality of the relationship.

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Source by Jane E Thomas

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